On the Top of the World
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Monday, June 30, 2008
Men, always men
What Men Really Mean
"It's a guy thing."Really means...."There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.
""Can I help with dinner?"Really means...."Why isn't it already on the table?"
"Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or "Yes, dear."Really means....Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.
"It would take too long to explain."Really means..."I have no idea how it works.
"We're going to be late."Really means...."Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac."
"Take a break, honey, you're working too hard."Really means...."I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
"That's interesting, dear."Really means...."Are you still talking?"
"It's a really good movie."Really means...."It's got guns, knives, fast cars, and beautiful women."
"That's women's work."Really means...."It's difficult, dirty, and thankless."
"You know how bad my memory is." "Really means.... "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the Vehicle Identification Numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."
"I was just thinking about you, and got you these roses."Really means.... "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."
"Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself, it's no big deal."Really means.... "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit I'm hurt."
"Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing."Really means.... "...And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."
"I can't find it."Really means.... "It didn't fall right into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."
"What did I do this time?"Really means.... "What did you catch me at?"
"I heard you."Really means.... "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."
"You know I could never love anyone else."Really means.... "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."
"You look terrific."Really means.... "Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit. I'm starving."
"I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are."Really means.... "No one will ever see us alive again."
"We share the housework."Really means.... "I make the messes, she cleans them up!
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Charles Baudelaire - Meditation
Be wise, O my Sorrow, be calmer.
You implored the evening; it falls; here it is:
A dusky air surrounds the town,
Bringing peace to some, worry to others.
Whilst the worthless crowd of humanity,
Lashed by Pleasure, that merciless torturer,
Go to gather remorse in slavish rejoicing,
Give me your hand, my Sorrow; come with me,
Far from them. See the dead years leaning,
In worn-out clothing, on the balconies of the skies;
See how Regret, grinning, rises from the deep waters;
The dying sun goes to sleep in an archway,
And, like a long shroud dragging from the East,
Hear, O my dear one, hear the soft night coming.
Monday, February 05, 2007
A water bearer in China had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. At the end of the long walk from the stream to the House, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water to his house.Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments,perfect for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot wasashamed of it's own imperfection. And miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do.
After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you. I have been able todeliver only half my load because this crack in my side causeswater to leak out all the way back to your house. Because of myflaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don't get full value from your efforts," the pot said.
The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side? That's because I have always known about your flaw. So I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you've watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house?
Moral: Each of us has our own unique flaws. We're all cracked pots. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. You've just got to take each person for what they are, and look for the good in them. Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape. Remember to appreciate all the different people in your life.
Saturday, December 30, 2006
If men say so... lol
Fine This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
Five Minutes If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
Nothing This is the calm before the storm. This means "something" and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "nothing" usually end in "fine".
Go Ahead This is a dare, not permission, DON'T DO IT!
Loud Sigh Although not actually a word, the loud sigh is often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".
That's Okay This is one of the most dangerous statements that woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
Thanks This is the least used of all words in the female vocabulary. If a woman is thanking you. Do not question it, just say you're welcome and back out of the room slowly.
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
My daddy is great
My Dad is Great
HOW A SON/DAUGHTER THINKS OF HIS/HER DADDY AT DIFFERENT AGES
At 4 Years My daddy is great.
At 6 Years My daddy knows everybody.
At 10 Years My daddy is good but is short tempered
At 12 Years My daddy was very nice to me when I was young.
At 14 Years My daddy is getting fastidious.
At 16 Years My daddy is not in line with the current times.
At 18 Years My daddy is becoming increasingly cranky.
At 20 Years Oh! It's becoming difficult to tolerate daddy. Wonder how Mom puts up with him.
At 25 Years Daddy is objecting to everything.
At 30 Years It's becoming difficult to manage my son. I was so scared of my father when I was young.
At 40 Years Daddy brought me up with so much discipline. Even I should do the same.
At 45 Years I am baffled as to how my daddy brought us up.
At 50 Years My daddy faced so many hardships to bring us up. I am unable to manage a single son.
At 55 Years My daddy was so far sighted and planned so many things for us. He is one of his kind and unique.
At 60 Years My daddy is great.
Thus, it took 56 Years to complete the cycle and come back to the 1st stage!
What is love?
There was a blind boy ,
Who used to hate everyone, except his girlfriend.. .......
He always used to say " I would marry you if I could see!"
Suddenly one day someone donated him eyes and then, when he saw his girlfriend
He was astonished to see that his girlfriend was also blind !
His girlfriend then asked ,"WILL YOU MARRY ME NOW "?
He simply refused...
His girlfriend went away saying......
JUST TAKE CARE OF MY EYES........ ....